Entry 023 // I’ve lost my connection with nature

His alarm goes off and I wake up and look towards the window. 

“Thats right, we sleep with the curtain down”. 

It’s an instinct I have since I lived in the countryside, to look out the window the first thing I did in the morning. Especially during fall cause I was hoping to wake up to a foggy, crisp morning.

morning sky

Today it dawned on me, how much my life has changed this past year. I am happier than ever. But I realise that I let go of some things to be where I am today, and in doing so I feel I have lost my connection to nature. 

I don’t sit outside with my morning coffee, and I don’t grab my camera to run out into the early fog in the mornings. Golden sunsets don’t have me rushing to the forest and I see no dancing northern lights in the evenings.

I spend them in front of Netflix instead of a with a book by the fireplace.

grass wet from morning dew

While I’m in the apartment I completely zone out the world on the other side of the windows. I used to be so aware of what was going on out there. But that was when I had the lake, the field and the forest as my closest neighbour.

Autumn equinox comes and goes without me noticing it.

Me and Dan lead a wonderful life here. We love our home and we often have friends over for board-game evenings. We climb a few times a week and are overall very active. But nature’s place in our lives has shrunk, and we need to find it again.

We have promised each other to take a little time every weekend to just be outside and that feels great. I don’t know for how long I will be able to live in the city though.

Fall is here and it just makes me miss it all so much…

I need nature to be there, just outside my door. I need to be able to leave my computer, get up from the desk and just wander out. Nature is fickle and ever changing, a golden sunset is not something you can plan, and you never know when fog will roll in over the fields – I have to be able to just run outside when it happens.

Seize the moment.

woman in poncho holding her hatAbout a year ago, on the same day as Dan flew into Sweden,  I stood down by the lake and watched the first fog of the year awaken.

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9 Comments

  1. Reply

    Leanne

    25 September, 2018

    I feel the same feelings living where I live. I do what I can but I hate it. I hope you find it again soon ❤️

    • Reply

      Northbound Journeys

      25 September, 2018

      I definitely don’t hate it, but I do realise what I’ve given up and I miss it – and I know I’ll need it again, I need to live like that. In the meantime we are going to work harder on being out more. Are you out and about much now?

  2. Reply

    Ann Rumbleinthearctic

    25 September, 2018

    Welcome to city life. I miss that life so much too. But things change, we too are striving to get out there, into nature, during the weekends!

    • Reply

      Northbound Journeys

      26 September, 2018

      Yeah you must miss it even more, living in such a big city now! Sundsvall is still a relatively small town and nature is very present in and around it. But yes, things do change – and I know I won’t live here for ever so I have to make the best out of it. Deciding to try and get out every weekend will truly help :) Are you guys managing to get out easy enough during the weekends?

  3. Reply

    Leanne

    26 September, 2018

    Yeah like you say you are really happy, and you made that choice to begin with which helps. I feel like I am not what I choose to be and i’m striving to change it, it just takes so long that i’m growing more and more tired. It’s good that you will work together on that :) not as much as I would like right now. This year just throws one thing after another at us so we can’t make it a priority. Next week i’m hoping to walk a long distance path here over 9 days though – hoping that will help me recharge to get through the next few months before we can leave on our travels.

  4. Reply

    Katta Bucketlife

    26 September, 2018

    Åh vilket fint inlägg om livet. Det är ju så, fullt av kompromisser och ibland råkar det sig så att man behöver offra några viktiga ting för att vinna andra större. Men just nu känner jag att nog inget skulle få mig att ge upp naturen – eller framförallt kan jag inte tänka mig att bo i en lägenhet på länge. Jag gjorde ju det i många år med en stor längtan och mådde inte alls bra. Det är liksom för nära i minnet för att jag ska våga prova igen på ett tag.
    Jag hoppas du hittar en bra balans, men så himla fint att du är lyckligare än nånsin. Tänk vad den där dejten blev :)
    Måste säga – vilken fantastiskt fin omdesign du gjort! Så stämningsfullt, snyggt och så mycket du! Riktigt imponerad!

    • Reply

      Northbound Journeys

      1 October, 2018

      Tack Katta :) Ja det är ju så, och ibland är de där besluten fasligt svåra att ta. Det var ganska lätt förra hösten dock, jag kände mig färdig med just den platsen och redo att testa något annat. Men hela tiden med vetskapen om att jag inte ville bo i stan för alltid. Och nu på hösten är det extra svårt, längtan till naturen är stor. Som tur är känns vår lägenhet mer som ett litet hus, och vi har nära till skogen – så det blev en ganska bra kompromiss ändå! Ska bara bli bättre på att balansera stadslivet med att ta mig ut så ska det nog bli bra.

      Ja kan man tänka sig vad en tinder dejt kan leda till ändå, helt fantastiskt! Åh men tack snälla, vad roligt att du gillar det – börjar precis bli klar med allt :D

  5. Reply

    Ann Rumbleinthearctic

    3 October, 2018

    We have been bad about getting out during the weekends. Most of the time we go for a run, hang out at home, do chores, go to central park or explore other areas of the city. Our car is parked north of the city, so that makes it “easier” to get out, but we still need to get to the car haha! We just haven’t given ourself enough time to actually go explore. But, we are going on a roadtrip to Montreal soon, so that will be great!

    • Reply

      Northbound Journeys

      5 October, 2018

      Mhm same as us, we’ve been bad at it lately too. I mean going on runs and exploring parks sounds pretty nice though! And yes, the giving of time to oneself to do what is needed and what you love, why is that so hard sometimes? It should be the easiest of things! Sounds super fun with a road trip! will it involve a lot of nature? :D

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