Loosing my fire

If you ask photographers, Instagram is dying. Regardless what the feeling of the social media app is, and what the algorithm is up to, I feel very tired of it. I mostly use it for work these days and it has lost its charm. At one point the same thing happened here though, with my blog. I miss the days of writing 1-2 times a week about more everyday things: Documenting my life and sharing thoughts, being personal and emotional. Since Instagram / social media doesn’t have the same pull for me anymore I want to try and spend that time here instead. As well as reading blogs.

Are you reading blogs these days? If so, please share your favourite(s) in the comments below! ↡

So, what am I up to these days? Well, I’ve been working a lot. Last spring I got in contact with a local PR Firm via an acquaintance, and through them I have had a lot of work. Shooting office lifestyle and staff portraits internally for them as well as doing work through them for their clients. I have continued to work with OM Systems a lot as well, and I shot one wedding this summer. But that’s all work and there’s of course a lot more to my life. Honestly I am a bit sick of my job right now…

Loosing my fire

I think I am slowly entering that dangerous realm of where my passion has become my job, and so that fire I’ve felt for photography is dwindling.

I still love to take photos. The fact that I can spend my morning shooting staff photos at an office and the afternoon in the woods with forest photography – and it’s all work, that is unreal to me.

What I have started to dislike is all the screen time. I don’t do a lot of editing but there’s so much work sorting through, choosing and editing before delivering to clients…

I don’t like it anymore.

What I need to do is start doing more photography for me, that is not work.

With that said, all this digital work and time in front of a screen has made me long for the opposite. Analogue, hands on stuff. I started shooting with film and soon I will have two rolls to develop. I am sketching a lot again, and doing a little bit of watercolour too. And every Sunday I am meeting up with a group to do pottery. It is so nice to work with my hands and create something that is immediately tangible, with no need for a screen.

I also want to learn more about lettering / typography and made add texts to my ink sketches and illustrations. I feel very inspired by 1924us right now, doing branding and logo design fully analogue – drawing it all on paper. I am also printing more of my work, and will have a print shop up later this fall / early winter if all goes well.

In general I am just feeling a very strong pull towards all kinds of creative endeavours that do not require a screen. It’s a bit ironic that I am then saying I will try and get back into writing here and reading blogs as it is certainly very digital, hah! But it’s all about balance, right?

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  1. Glad to hear you have been busy with work but sad that you are feeling this way. It resonates strongly though, I have been feeling the same for a long time and drawn to analogue things as you say. I did a botanical painting course this year and it was a balm to do something not at a screen. I feel my attention and focus healing with it.

    I also feel more drawn to using my website and blog again, it’s so strange how we come at these conclusions at the same time – it says a lot about the state of things I think! I deleted everything from Instagram a couple of weeks ago with the intention to spend some time reflecting on how I use it and go forward much more intentionally. The only difference for me I think in what you have said is that I feel suddenly drawn to image making again, but similar in needing it to be very intentional – I only want to say yes to work that will fill my cup rather than drain it – but I am privileged in being able to do that right now (maybe not longer term if I don’t get enough work going forward) – I sense that in what you are saying too, that saying yes to things out of necessity rather than joy is draining. It’s hard isn’t it to maintain passion when you are striving but it sounds like you are finding some balance – the pottery sounds wonderful! And I always love your drawings – looking forward to seeing more ?

    Anyway I felt compelled to write a blog comment for the first time in a long time and it’s been nice to start a conversation away from instagram again!
    It’s funny I wrote a tweet earlier before I saw this that said about how we might as well just use TikTok now as that’s what all the other platforms have become. So I think there’s definitely a shift in the air and lots of people will be feeling similar. I’m excited to move away from it all and make my website a fun place to be again, and it’s exciting to know others are in that place too and hopefully it brings better online connection and creativity again.

    Sending lots of love!

    1. Yeah I mean I can’t complain, from a financial standpoint it’s super. But I think it’s exactly what you’re describing, saying yes because of necessity and not joy. I do feel like I have a spot within my niche now, and most requests I get do suit me. Its just been a lot at once, a lot of different jobs back to back so as soon as I’m done editing and delivering one thing it’s straight on to the next. Usually I have more lulls in between. I am not used to working full time (nor do I want to?). It does make it hard to maintain the passion, yet if I want to buy a house and do more adult things (hah) I do need to make a bit more money… and I hate the fact that money is such a driving factor.

      A botanical painting course sounds absolutely lovely as well, I’d love to do something like that! It’d be fun to see what you made! Pottery is a lot of fun too though, but difficult. Mind you I’ve only done it once so far, next time is this Sunday. It’s a great weekend thing to get me out of the house and meet other Swedes as well. Hopefully a few weeks from now I can share something I’ve made and write more about it.

      I am glad to hear you are feeling drawn towards image making again, I do really enjoy your photography! Being intentional and perhaps bit more “slow” in how you go about it I think will help. I often shoot too much too fast, which is why it has been nice to get back into using film. I stop and contemplate each image and the composition a bit more. Let me know if you start writing on your blog again, I’d love to follow it then. Right now I am figuring out the best way to follow blogs and stay updated. What I used to use no longer exists apparently…

      Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment! I think if we are to move away from Instagram we can’t just be writing our own posts or silently read, we need to stay active with comments as well. Build that community. It was so much fun a few years ago when that was more ingrained and a lot of people did it! I also started using Vero for photography, to get away from IG, and I do like it a bit but it is still yet another app. But I have also sensed that shift you are mentioning, a lot of people are tired of social media and long for something else. Both better, deeper content but also that connection to people and sense of community. Hopefully we can build something / find it again!

      Loads of love to you as well!

    1. That’s such a nice sounding morning routine! What are some of your favourite blogs you’re reading right now, and do you have a good app for reading them? Yeah me too… I’ve recently started using Vero which seems much better for photographers, I can recommend checking it out! If you do my name there is @grainandfern :)

      1. I mostly read blogs about (swedish) nature, fotography, interior design and food, all the good in life <3. I will check this out, I really like your style, your colours and well 'calming' expression (?) in your pics, so I will check you out on Vero. Thank you!

        1. That all sounds like things I really like reading about as well, good topics :) Any blogs you mind sharing that you find extra inspiring right now? Thank you so much, I’m glad to heart that!

  2. hey Rania, welcome back :D

    Basically what is “happening” to you is what I’m living since a few years: my passion become my daily work and thanks to some mismanagement it is getting odd and tedious.
    Anyway, I never was firend/fan of insta and neither tiktok or stuff like that but I do still have some blogs in my feeds and tbh I’m looking a lot into them and waiting for a new notification…and if something pops up, it will be read really soon =)

    greetings from germany!

    1. Hey Christian, thank you! I think a lot of people fall down that path way to easily, sadly. Working for money does eventually kill any passion. Where’s that universal basic income when we need it?! I used to like Instagram way back, but it has changed too much. TikTok I just can’t stand, and that’s without thinking about the fact that they’re selling data on people (and reporting all the data they have to the Chinese government… ugh). What blogs do you have in your feed? I’d love to find some new ones to read!

      Thanks for reading and taking the time to leave a comment, I hope all is well in Germany!

      1. I think that money don’t kill the passion, the problem is more the environment around it. For example in my case it is not the doing but more the poeople in front of me that let loose the interest in it.

        Anyway, “my” blogs are mos jn german but about photography, hiking and tech. I’m missing a blog about cooking but maybe I’ll find something one day :-D

        1. Not money per say perhaps, but having to work just to make ends meet rather than for the passion can be hard. Sounds like a good mix of topics! Ah there are so many blogs about cooking, hard to find one that suits you!